I just received an important and insightful email:

From: Bingham [diffusecrepe@rotten.cc]
To: Julian Hyde
Subject: Enjoy ssex with her!

Dear member. Thousands of couples broke down because of them, making both parties unhappy. Your problems will be fixed with Extra-Time, a complex method of dealing with all the reasons. Don’t let your partner leave you because of being unhappy with the duration of your acts. See our offer: http://a.url.com/y/et/ You won’t forget your eyes after you finally gave her the long-lasting love. She’ll go crazy about you!

Stilted and awkward though his English is, Bingham is sensitive and perceptive. He clearly understands the inner workings of my relationship with my new wife – and is concerned with nothing more than our marital bliss. What a wonderful world, that complete strangers are sending us these generous help with our relationships, completely unsolicited. Heartwarming.